It is funny that the theme for this month is New Beginnings and I am writing this on the second day of the beginning of Winter- the beginning of a new season. And in a couple of weeks, we usher in a new beginning- the beginning of a new year.
For me, this is not just the beginning of a new season in terms of the four seasons of the year, it is the beginning of many things in my life. I now have the courage to be me because I have clarity about who I am in Christ and my worth and that also gives me the confidence to say goodbye to the things that have held me hostage and living in the prison of my past to me BOLDLY going after what God has for me.
I have said goodbye to waiting for people to give me permission and I have given myself permission to be me. I have stopped waiting for doors to be opened for me and I have opened my own doors. You see, for almost 2 years, I waited for people to say yes to me and offer me a job, but I have stopped waiting and I have said yes to myself by stepping out in faith and opening my own Law Firm, helping entrepreneurs and small business protect their business.
I have given myself permission to be the woman God created me to be. To stop allowing what “they” will say to stop me from going after my dreams. To stop asking myself “can anything good come out of my brokenness”? “Can anything good come of my mistakes”? Maybe you are also asking yourself that question, “can anything good come out of my divorce”? “Can anything good come of me having an abortion”? “Can anything good come out of me being a single mom”?
Yes, something beautiful is coming out of the broken pieces in your life. How do I know? Because He has done it in my life. I am a Pastor’s daughter who lost herself looking for love in the wrong places. I broke all the church rules and lived a double life for a long time. I struggled with insecurities, guilt and shame for a long time. But you see, all that I thought disqualified me is what God is using to give hope and healing to others.
God has shown me that He specializes in putting back together the broken pieces of our lives and He remolds it into something so beautiful (even though we were created beautiful to start with) that we become a showcase of God’s grace, mercy and unconditional love. He takes our ashes and He gives us beauty.
Recently, I asked myself what made this year different from last year? What made the last 6 months of this year different from the first 6 months? After thinking about it, I realized that I have become more committed to my breakthrough than my comfort. I have become more committed to my purpose than to what people will say. I have become more committed to being happy and fulfilled living my dreams than being unhappy and unfulfilled watching others live their lives. I have become more committed to God’s approval of me than to anyone’s approval or disapproval of me so I jumped. I leapt and jumped even before I was ready.
I jumped and turned my dreams into reality. I jumped and ended my old cycle of waiting and began a new cycle of doing.
You see, for a long time, even though I desired and I said I wanted something more I was more committed to my comfort than to what I said I wanted. I was more committed to holding unto things and people that were not serving me when I should have let go.
I have come to realize that in order to embrace some of the new things that God is going to do in our lives, we have to give ourselves the gift of goodbye. Sometimes, we may need to stop patching things up praying that things don’t fall apart and actually let them go.
I had an aha moment a couple of weeks ago when I told my younger son to put in the recycling bin a cracked plastic bowl and he asked me why I wanted to throw it away and I told him because it was cracked. He asked me why I couldn’t just patch it up with a tape and continue to use it and I told him I couldn’t do that. That even if I could use a tape to patch it up, the tape may hold it for a while, but may not be able to hold it together for long. And I won’t be able to put anything inside because it is just going to fall out and make a mess. The truth was that I couldn’t keep patching it up forever. I will be spending time on something that was not worth it.
As soon as I spoke those words, it was an aha moment for me. You see I realized that I had been doing what my son had asked me to do to that plastic bowl with some of my relationships and things in my life. I had been patching up with excuses and procrastination what I should have let go of because I was afraid. I had been spending time on things that were not worth it.
Maintaining something that wasn’t meant to be maintained and because of that, things I didn’t want were now spilling into other areas of my life.
I had become a hoarder of things that have become toxic and a mess in my life.
When we hold unto things that have outlived their season in our lives, it becomes a mess. Right there and then, I decided to let go of some things that I have been patching up with excuses and procrastination because of fear. I decided to stop wasting time on some things and instead go boldly for what God has called me to do.
I am tired of sitting on the sidelines of life watching other women live their dreams while I just dream of one day living my dreams. I am no more holding unto fear of failure because my fear of having to tell God that I didnt fulfill my purpose because I was afraid of what people will say or fear of failure is much greater.
So my question to you is, what will make today different from yesterday? What will you do differently this year that will change where you are this time next year? Are you ready to give yourself permission to be you? Are you ready to gain courage to be you and the confidence to live your dreams boldly?
Are you ready for your own new beginnings?
Author, Speaker, Mindset & Confidence Coach
Principal Lawyer & Consultant at La Pearl Law